


Vegeta: Death Driver

by GokuGirl



Series: The Vegeta Humiliation Chronicles [8]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-25
Updated: 2000-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4384925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 2 of the Driving Arc. Vegeta goes for a "leisurely" drive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegeta: Death Driver

**Author's Note:**

> **Note:** I got the idea from a Gundam Wing fic featuring Duo and Wufei. It was really funny so I thought I would make one for DBZ. I guess you could say that it takes place a couple of days after Vegeta and the DMV.
> 
> **Note 2:** Since I think it would be funnier this way, they are driving how you would in North America. Since I've never been to a place that does it differently, this is easier for me to do.

Goku awoke early one morning to the sound of someone pounding on his front door. He sat up and promptly banged his head on the headboard. While he rubbed the pain away, he got up slowly so he wouldn't wake ChiChi and endure her wrath.  
  
He walked down the stairs quietly, so he wouldn't wake Gohan or Goten and answered the door. The short saiyan knocker was caught off guard when the door opened quickly.  
  
Goku yawned a jaw-cracking yawn and said, "Ohayo Vegeta! How are you?"  
  
His only answer was a distracted grunt. Suddenly Vegeta started laughing maniacally and trust a rectangular card into Goku's face. Goku peered at it and tried to read the writing in the pale light.  
  
"Dri-iver's, Driver's! Lice--"  
  
"It's a driver's license bakayaro, MY driver's license." Vegeta snatched the license back and stuffed it into a random hidden pocket of his spandex.  
  
"What makes you think I care?" Goku asked bluntly.  
  
Vegeta gaped at him. "Did I just hear you  _not_  say anything nice or cheerful to me?"  
  
Goku shrugged, annoyed. "You would be like this too if a particular short saiyan woke you up at," he glanced at his wrist watch, "SIX am in the morning talking about something as stupid as a driver's license!"  
  
Vegeta was so shocked at his behavior that he forgot to mention the fact that Goku could tell time. He shook it away and told the larger one why he was here.  
  
"I'm going on a car trip and I want you to come. I want to show off my driving skill. I want to prove to you that I AM better that you!" Vegeta remained the silent until Goku began to grin. Vegeta groaned. Did he just say that out loud?  
  
"I always KNEW you hated being inferior to me! Face it Vegeta," Goku shoved an index finger in the others face, "I will always be superior."  
  
Vegeta was shocked again. "Kakarott, did you forget to take your happy pill today?"  
  
Goku looked at him confusedly and shook his head slowly. Vegeta sighed, at least one thing would remain unchanged.  
  
"Look Kakarott, I'm coming back at 4pm so you better be ready 'cause you're coming with me no matter what!"  
  
"Whatever you say, Veggie-chan!" Goku hurriedly shut the door before he could see Vegeta's face get tomato red and listen to him shout obscenities at him.

* * *

Later at the Son house...  
  
At promptly 4 o'clock pm, there was a knock on the Sons' front door. In fact, Vegeta was 30 seconds early. Gohan got up to answer it.  
  
"It's okay, Gohan. Vegeta! You can come in!" The door opened and Vegeta came inside, looking rather stupid with the flight goggles on his head like some freaky imitation of the Red Baron.  
  
Goten and Goku dissolved into giggles rather instantly and even Gohan and ChiChi were suppressing laughter. Trunks came around Vegeta's leg and started laughing as well.  
  
"Is Trunks coming along too?" Goku asked Vegeta.  
  
"The woman thought I should spend more," he started to struggle with the phrase. ""quality time" with him." Trunks promptly latched on to his leg in a death grip and Vegeta had to pry him off.  
  
"I love you Tousan!" Trunks cried, but all he got was a grunt in response. Trunks, used to this, just shrugged and started talking to Goten.  
  
"Well, let's go then!" Goku got up and knocked over a glass of water. Before ChiChi could say anything, he gathered Trunks under one arm & Goten under the other and fled the household with Gohan and Vegeta not far behind.

* * *

Outside...  
  
"Wow Vegeta! This is a  _nice_  car!" Goku exclaimed and indeed it was. The car was midnight black with matching leather interior. It was a convertible with enough room for everyone, if they squeezed that is. Goku & Vegeta in the front, and the kids in the back. They all got in and Vegeta turned the key in the ignition.  
  
"Hold on."  
  
"Wha--" Goku began to ask him as they propelled forward at speeds unimaginable. Goku and the boys were pressed into the seats. But Vegeta had a look of utmost concentration on his face as he shifted on the Satan City phone book he was sitting on and leaned over the wheel.  
  
"Vegeta," Gohan shouted, "could you slow down just a little?"  
  
"What? I am going slow.  _This_  is fast." Vegeta's foot pressed down harder on the accelerator (if possible) and they broke the sound barrier. They soon came to Satan City. Vegeta surprisingly was a very skillful driver as he dodged the other people easily. Suddenly he slammed on the brakes causing Goku and the kids jerk forward and hit their heads.  
  
"Why'd you stop... Oh." Vegeta had actually stopped to let an old lady cross the street. While they were waiting, they other four hurriedly put on their seatbelts to avoid further injury. Soon Vegeta became impatient and just surged forward, the old lady diving out of the way.  
  
"Now Vegeta, that wasn't very nice." Goku scolded.  
  
"It wasn't supposed to be." They soon came to the interstate and he got on. Goku and the kids gulped, this would be bad. The traffic was  _very_  heavy since it was after 4 in the afternoon and everyone was getting home from work. Vegeta saw an opening in the middle lane and sped up again, cutting off an old man who was going to claim it. The old man flipped him off and the vein in Vegeta's head began to bulge.  
  
"Vegeta," Goku warned, "don't do anything stupid."  
  
"Oh I won't Kakarott." He took his left hand from the wheel and pointed it at the very old Ford pickup.  
  
"Don't do it Vegeta!"  
  
Vegeta snorted and pointed his hand at a 90 degree angle. " He should know better than to flip-off Vegeta! BIG--"  
  
"No Vegeta!"  
  
"BANG--"  
  
"Stop Vegeta!" Goku lunged for him.  
  
"ATTACK!" He fired and Goku fired a Kame Hame Ha to move it out of the way. Unfortunately since Goku was practically laying on Vegeta's lap and couldn't see, instead of murdering one man, they killed several more.  
  
"Oops." Goku said.  
  
Trunks and Goten unbuckled their seatbelts and climbed over Gohan's lap to see better. In addition to just blowing up three cars, there was a chain reaction and about ten were on fire. Vegeta snickered evilly and Goku looked on, shocked. Surprisingly, during all Vegeta had kept on driving perfectly.  


* * *

A little later...

Goku had turned on the radio and they were all singing happily, even Vegeta, until a Mercedes cut Vegeta off and slammed on it's brakes. Vegeta had to swerve to avoid hitting the car and ended up against the guardrail on the left side. The Mercedes drove off like nothing happened.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Vegeta levitated from the vehicle (the top was down).  
  
"Vegeta! Don't do it!" Vegeta ignored him and started to fly top speed at the steel gray Mercedes. "Kuso!" Goku undid his seatbelt and went after him, the kids not too far behind.  
  
Vegeta reached the car in record time and reached into the down drivers side window and grabbed the man's neck. The car slowly came to a stop, as the man's foot slid off the accelerator. After thoroughly scaring the crap out of the driver, Vegeta let go and picked up his car...  
  
"Vegeta! Put that Mercedes down!" Goku yelled.  
  
"Make me!" Before Goku could stop him, Vegeta threw the car over the right side guardrail and watched it hit the ground. For good measure, he shot a beam at it, watching the spectacular explosion it made. The drivers luck must have been very bad because Vegeta just so happened to catch up to him on a bridge.  
  
The kids and Goku gaped in shock. Vegeta just calmly turned away and went back to his car with them following.

* * *

The rest of the ride was pretty good, that is until a SUV decided to pull the same trick as the Mercedes...  
  
"VEGETA NO!!!"


End file.
